Birds attack!

I'm not sure why, but the birds of the world are after me. It all started when I was a young boy. My uncle gave me some bread to break up and feed to the ducks at Sam Houston Jones Park in Louisiana. I think I actually threw the bread at the ducks instead of too them. They didn't like that so much and decided to chase me away. It scared the hell out of me. I ran back to my Uncle as fast as I could. Later in life, geese are attacking me when I try to go to work. They'll sit there and hiss at me. I didn't know geese hissed. Isn't that reserved for snakes? Maybe cats? Well, I even tried to appease them by scattering some Cheetos around the geese. They just freaked out at me and ran me off. Fucking geese. Oh, and for some reason, birds are allowed in the mall food court. I was eating dinner out there with one of my associates. I had nachos from Taco Bell. This bird just dive bombed my nachos and scattered them every which way. What the fuck? Since when do birds take on kamikaze missions? Well, Sheena thought this a neat idea for a post, so there it was.